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Ramsay’s New Show Causes Controversy, Cardiac Arrest

Ramsay’s New Show Causes Controversy, Cardiac Arrest

Celebrity chef and master irritant Gordon Ramsay has done it again. His new Fox show “Your Granny Can’t Cook!” is a hit. In the pilot, Ramsay bursts into the home kitchen of Minnesota Grandmother Jean “Granny” Granderson, and tears the lid off of 60 years of lies and bad cooking. In the opening scene,...

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Savvy Third Graders Use Social Media To Take Down Broccoli

Savvy Third Graders Use Social Media To Take Down Broccoli

Collinstown, Tennessee — Jennifer Hansen sits on her porch reflecting on the maelstrom that has gripped Samuel Smalley Elementary School in Collinstown in a dramatic and unexpected way. “I...

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Massengill Unveils New Bacon-Scented Feminine Wash

Massengill Unveils New Bacon-Scented Feminine Wash

For over 100 years, Massengill has been the world-leader in feminine hygiene selling a variety of beloved vaginal irrigation products such as douches, douchebags and other premium douche accessories....

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10 New 21st Century Excuses For Getting Out Of Gym Class

10 New 21st Century Excuses For Getting Out Of Gym Class

In a technologically advanced world, the ways that schools educate children are changing with the times. And the ways children try to get out of being educated are changing...

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Minneapolis Woman Buys $28,000 of Amazon Deals

Minneapolis Woman Buys $28,000 of Amazon Deals

“I don’t know. They all seemed like such super deals!” says Linda Moser. Moser was shocked when she received her October Visa bill and saw a $27,829 charge from...

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Study Shows That 73% of REO Speedwagon Marathons End in Homicide

Study Shows That 73% of REO Speedwagon Marathons End in Homicide

It was an American tragedy. One that started on a sunny afternoon in an Illinois suburb, when Joe Caston, 34, offered a cold Budweiser to his childhood friend Arnold...

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Police on Lookout for Suspect with Unusually Large Bladder

Police on Lookout for Suspect with Unusually Large Bladder

Spotted on page 2 of the  UNC-Chapel Hill newspaper, The Daily Tarheel… “Someone publicly urinated at 112 E. Franklin  St. between 2:40 a.m. and 3:21 a.m. Sunday, according to...

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Area Infant Hasn’t Pooped In Two Weeks; Parents Brace Themselves

Area Infant Hasn’t Pooped In Two Weeks; Parents Brace Themselves

Savannah, Georgia–Theodore Janx, 11 weeks old, has not moved his bowels since December 17, according to his parents, Renee and Harlon Janx of 15 Chickapee Lane. “He doesn’t even...

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Area Man Claims iPhone’s Autocorrect Not Inappropriate Enough

Area Man Claims iPhone’s Autocorrect Not Inappropriate Enough

An area man is upset with his new iPhone, claiming the electronic device’s word substitution choices are not nearly inappropriate enough. “The performance is really disappointing. This thing hasn’t replaced...

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Top 5 Reasons Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Will Suck

Top 5 Reasons Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Will Suck

There you are. We see you. Sitting there all smug and confident. You made your New Year’s Resolutions, marching head-long into 2012. This will be the year you make...

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