Young Zane H. is one of the many NASA fans interested in the items for auction. This is the original helmet sitting next to the one that Neil Armstrong almost wore.
Burbank, California — NASA has long maintained a presence in this sleepy, little bungalow community. While Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida and the problem-fixers in Houston get the glory, it is the town of Burbank that has helped make NASA what it is today.
A place that time seemingly forgot; Burbank is quaint, uncluttered and untouched by the majority of busier cities in the area. In fact, the only influence that Burbank need acknowledge is that of an equally charming city, its neighbor to the west, Hollywood. It was from the tubes of Hollywood’s famed television that “beautiful downtown Burbank” became a familiar phrase in living rooms throughout the more affluent parts of the country.
NASA spokesperson Dr. Buzz C. Ocks says it was that picturesque description in 1969 that enticed NASA to scrap its dream of sending a man to the moon and instead focus their never-ending supply of government funding to better use in a secretive real estate deal that resulted in the purchase of an old, abandoned quarry in the heart of Burbank.
Said Dr. Ocks, “It was downtown, and to us, it was beautiful. Johnny Carson was right!”
The lot, covered in old rocks that the quarry had rejected due to a number of fairly insensitive reasons (color, shape, size, gender), was perfect. The rejected rocks were the kind of rocks that didn’t make the cut when it came to landscaping hiking trails, national parks and Arizona suburbs.
To the average American the rocks appeared foreign — or better yet, alien.
“It was a crazy idea,” admitted Dr. Ocks when asked about NASA’s decision to turn the lot into a soundstage, “but we were young. Plus, it was 1969, so you know, acid.
“One day, Alan Shepard was messing around with some golf clubs that Carson’s people had sent over to welcome us to the area. Some of the Beatles were there, too, and I think it was John Lennon, or maybe Paul McCartney, which one was the walrus? Anyway, they laughed at Alan and said he’d probably play golf better on the moon. Bam! That was it.”
Within three hours Dr. Ocks, Alan Shepard and the Beatles had transformed the old quarry into a soundstage complete with a moon-themed minigolf course. NASA executives liked what they saw and the rest, as they say, is history.
These days, tough times have hit NASA as that once lucrative check from the government has been cut to fund more important endeavors, like arguing, oil, and name-calling. This sign of the times made Dr. Ocks realize drastic measures were in order.
Hence, the auction.
“We thought we could do a garage sale or something, but those take all day. Plus you have to drive around and tape signs to telephone poles. We just didn’t have the time. Then I heard about those online auctions at eBay, and that sounded simple enough.”
Items listed for auction on NASA’s eBay Store include helmets, “moon sand” kits, and many of the actual rocks used in the filming of the 1969 hit, “Moon Landing.”
Additional rocks that were not in the original footage, but have since been found by Dr. Ocks and deemed as “kind of cool” will be available on a first come, first serve basis. Also priced to sell (with a “buy now” option) are the famous golf clubs used by Alan Shepard and, allegedly, the Beatles.
The soundstage itself is also open for bids, but rumors swirling among the townspeople of Burbank suggest that should it fail to sell within the time allotted, the item will not be relisted. Instead, they claim, it will be purchased offline by IKEA for additional parking.
For more information on the NASA eBay auction please contact Dr. Buzz C. Ocks via the U.S. Postal Service.
[...] I’ve been keeping busy. Limey Yank Productions is a full-time job without all the hassle of benefits or paychecks, and I’ve been posting random bits of parenting woes and whoas all over the designated play area of the Internet. I’m also trying something new: humor. It’s like funny. [...]
Oddly enough, on-set problems forced the cast and crew of Capricorn One to actually shoot on the surface of Mars.
Mars actually provides some lucrative tax-incentives to film there. Plus, the people are nice.
I understand they need women, though.