Local idiot undergoes facial hair removal using same wax used in the famous Brazilian
Chinchilla created a special taskforce whose sole goal was increasing the amount of Google search results for “Costa Rican”. After embarking on a worldwide search for the ideal social media guru, the taskforce settled on Brett Stewart, a self-proclaimed expert whose profile states that “Brett Stewart, 16, with a constantly increasing Klout score of 62, has deftly maneuvered the social media world, getting over one thousand Twitter followers, eight hundred Facebook friends, and he’s also on Google+ when he doesn’t forget that it exists.”
Stewart’s in-depth analysis concluded that because “Brazilian” can mean someone who is from Brazil and also a form of bikini waxing that involves “making vaginas completely hairless, which is simultaneously a bit creepy but also really, really hot,” it will always return more search results unless “Costa Rican” also had a double meaning. Chinchilla did not hesitate to create a second taskforce of hairdressers, aestheticians, barbers, and 19-year old men, directing them to create the perfect pubic hairstyle for women.
“It was an arduous process,” said taskforce spokesperson Vanni (no last name). ”We spent hours examining vaginas, both hirsute and bald, and had a lot of difficulty finding any style that was superior to the Brazilian. It’s just . . . perfect. But then we had a breakthrough. What if, instead of taking hair away, we added something better?”
That inspiration resulted in the new “Costa Rican”, unveiled by President Chinchilla in San Jose on Tuesday. ”I’m proud to be a Costa Rican,” she proclaimed, “and next time you’re disappointed in your boring, plain Brazilian, give it the Costa Rican twist!” She lifted her skirt, displaying a vagina adorned with peacock feathers, sequins, two bananas, and a cartoon of Calvin peeing on the country of Brazil.
Calls for comment from the Brazilian Board of Tourism, Vajazzle, Inc., or Jenna Jameson were not returned at the time of publication; however, salons across the United States, focused mainly in Los Angeles and Miami, reported tens of calls for the new pubic hairstyle.
Cartoon of Calvin peeing on Brazil. That’s the game changer.
[...] Costa Rica releases pubic hairstyle to compete with the Brazilian Wax [...]