New research shows that nine and a half out of ten scientists agree WE’RE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.
A study out of Sunnyvale, CA sampling over 35,000 local science nerds shows that nearly every scientist agrees that we will all die in a terrible disaster by the year 2258.
What the scientists did not all agree on was how we would all kick the bucket. Theories range from the mild (next ice age) to the truly bizarre (Mentos and diet coke theory).
Here are a few of the other extinction level events that were listed on the report:
- Thermonuclear War
- Asteroids
- Alien Invasion
- Depletion of Ozone
- Biblical Style Apocalype
- Ebola or other Pandemic
- Rogue Black Holes
- Killer Couches
- Exploding Sun
- Hypernova
- Gilese 710 and the Oort Cloud
- Killer Clowns
- Hyperevolution
- Bachman Turner Overdrive
- Grey Goo
- Mass Insanity
- Robot Uprising
“We are also concerned about sun flares, polar reversal and killer bees, but the symposium agreed that they wouldn’t wipe out humanity as much as cause a Mad Max style post apocalyptic dystopia,” said Dexter Sahnnagan.
He further added, “If you are looking for something to be really worried about, the top three concerns among the elite minds of our time were Big Bang Do Over, nuclear winter and Zombie Apocalypse.”
[photo: daily galaxy]
Is the Insane Clown Posse a subset of the Killer Clowns, or a separate cause for concern?
What about if the Internet goes down everywhere, all at once, and everyone suffers the DTs?
Lastly, you forgot DDF–Duran Duran Fever.
I hear that one is the most lethal of all.
[...] And pimping pork and aiming low and honing my satire skills. [...]