A panel of librarians in Delaware announced last week that the old adage, “Never judge a book by its cover,” may be causing Americans to delve deeper into reading material that is simply not worth their time.
“It’s bullshit,” admitted Ricardo Dicker, chief librarian at the Kent Public Library, who headed up the independent study, comprised of four librarians, a local book club president, and a thirteen year-old girl. “Some happy-crappy thing made up to sell cheap products. We looked at a lot of books, and I would say 9 times out of 10 we could pretty much tell if they sucked just based on the artwork.”
“I mean, it’s not always literal,” added Sissy Delacorte, a member of New Castle Middle School’s class of 2012 and a self-described lover of Nietzsche. “Like, Twilight, for example. It’s not about an apple, which is what the cover image pictures. But it is half-assed and generic. And you can tell just by looking at it.”
Other covers that prompted a thumbs-down from the panel were Rick Springfield’s memoir Late Late At Night.
“I thought it was that little boy from Witness,” said Mabel Boudreau, who runs a book club out of her home in Ellendale. “And I thought, what is he doing writing a memoir? I thought he was Amish.”
Other books elicited similar responses, as well. ”Cooking With Pooh? Just ew,” said Ms. Delacorte. J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye prompted some outrage from Mr. Dicker, who goes by Ric. “It’s just words, and not even descriptive ones. Now, take Eat Pray Love. That’s how you do a text cover. It’s got the words, of course, but they’re also spelled out using the very things they describe. Genius!”
By contrast, the group loved the entire Danielle Steele canon. “Every single Danielle Steele book is exactly the same,” explained Lee Small, an assistant librarian from Harrington. “So are the covers. You get what you see.”
As with any rule, though, there are exceptions. “I thought The Help was about birds,” said Ms. Boudreau. “I liked it and everything, but if I’d been in the mood to read about racism in Mississippi, I would have read To Kill A Mockingbird. Which I also thought was about birds, by the way, but probably less funny. You can tell from the title.”
Wait -”Twilight” isn’t about apples? I think I read it wrong.
Damn, how much do you think they photoshopped Rick Springfield? He looks creepishly young.
*stares at book cover*
When did Rick Springfield become a vampire. I’m torn between thinking he looks freakishly creepy or freakishly hot.
He’s clearly the real life Dorian Gray.
Based on Rick Springfield’s title and picture, I thought I was reading a book about vampires. Twilight does have on thing going for it–pure deception. “How About Dem Apples?”
I think maybe it’s a book about hungover men trying on eye makeup… late, late at night.
Is he really a vampire? Dorian Gray? A bird in human flesh… or a cross dresser? Hmm.