An early adopter, Blaylock bought the iPhone 4s immediately after it released, but claims that the Siri application on the phone has caused irreparable damage between him and his would-be fiancee and possibly ruined his favorite pair of pants.
Siri is an application that responds to voice recognition software that applies web services to satisfy its end user’s broad ranged requests. According to Apple, the application adapts to every user’s unique preferences in order to deliver personalized results.
Mr. Blaylock was taken by Siri’s perceptiveness and known to rave to friends and co-workers about how awesome “she” was. Sources insisting on anonymity state that his then girlfriend, Regina Condon, would roll her eyes and say, “Well, if you love Siri so much, why don’t you just marry her?”
But Mr. Blaylock didn’t want to marry Siri, he, in fact, wanted to marry Ms. Condon.
He included Siri in every step of his proposal plan, though, including instructions to hire a limo intended to drive Ms. Condon to a romantic resort in the desert where he would be waiting with the ring, the proposal, and a swing band he had hired to serenade them.
According to a now highly irate Blaylock, “Siri sent a text to my psycho ex-girlfriend with ‘letting go’ issues and told her to expect a limo to take her to the resort.” Complications emanate from the fact that the text was simultaneously sent to Ms. Condon.
Ms. Condon drove to the resort to interrupt what she assumed was an illicit reunion between Blaylock and his ex-girlfriend. Exact events that followed are not clear, but most accounts indicate that Siri’s mistake resulted in broken furniture, damaged instruments, and a pantsless Blaylock standing stranded on a string bass floating in an infinity pool full of votive candles.
Ms. Condon gave “Sheila,” the ex-girlfriend, a ride home, and they both vowed to never speak to “Mr. Asshole” again.
Siri could not be reached for comment.