Celebrity chef and master irritant Gordon Ramsay has done it again. His new Fox show “Your Granny Can’t Cook!” is a hit. In the pilot, Ramsay bursts into the home kitchen of Minnesota Grandmother Jean “Granny” Granderson, and tears the lid off of 60 years of lies and bad cooking.
In the opening scene, Ramsay confronts Granny, “I’m here because you’re kitchen is going under, Granny, and with it your reputation. You need me to make sure your grandchildren don’t continue to hate you right through your remaining, culinarily disastrous years!”
In another scene currently burning up the YouTubes, Ramsay takes issue with Granny’s specialty.
“You call this Meatloaf? God, Granny, Wake UP! This is putrid!” He then slammed the foul meat cake on the table, ruining the tablecloth that had been hand sewn 40 years before. “F**ck off.” added Ramsay.
Ramsay, who is also the executive producer, explains the driving force behind the show. “For years, people have been romanticizing the food cooked by their dear old grannies, thereby propagating a culture of bad food by bad cooks with bad hips. We’re here to change all that. We’re going to make granny into a real cook.”
When asked to comment, Granny Gunderson replies, “Oh my. I mean, oh dear. It’s just . . . Gosh. He’s really a dick.”
Other episodes include a nice Jewish Grandmother who gets beaned with her own matza balls, and a grandmother from Wisconsin who is berated for her “vomitous” cheese soup to the point of heart attack. Critics are calling it the “most realistic and gripping episode of a highly abusive cooking show in years.” The Attorney General, responding to complaints from the AARP, calls the show “worth investigating” and “surprisingly entertaining.”
Plans for future Ramsay helmed programs include a children’s cooking show titled, “Kitchen Time-Out” and a show on homeless cooks called, “That’s Garbage!”
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Homemaker Man is the bastard child of an old hippy and a giant roll of math class scratch paper. He blogs about things and stuff. Once or twice he had kids. He convinced his wife to marry him by “using mind control drugs.” he also does not understand where or how to use quotation marks. You can avoid him here.