web analytics

Blog Archives

Ramsay’s New Show Causes Controversy, Cardiac Arrest

Ramsay’s New Show Causes Controversy, Cardiac Arrest

Celebrity chef and master irritant Gordon Ramsay has done it again. His new Fox show “Your Granny Can’t Cook!” is a hit. In the pilot, Ramsay bursts into the home kitchen of Minnesota Grandmother Jean “Granny” Granderson, and tears the lid off of 60 years of lies and bad cooking. In the opening scene,...

Read more »

Police on Lookout for Suspect with Unusually Large Bladder

Police on Lookout for Suspect with Unusually Large Bladder

Spotted on page 2 of the  UNC-Chapel Hill newspaper, The Daily Tarheel… “Someone publicly urinated at 112 E. Franklin  St. between 2:40 a.m. and 3:21 a.m. Sunday, according to Chapel Hill police reports.” Some bladder. — Submitted by Peter A. Coclanis  

Read more »

Toddler Prodigy Re-Imagines Synthpop Classic “Send Me an Angel”

Toddler Prodigy Re-Imagines Synthpop Classic “Send Me an Angel”

Chicago, IL – The Chicago renaissance toddler Bub has decided to channel his creative energy into the music forum by “re-imagining” Real Life’s 1983 classic Send Me an Angel. “With all due respect to the original, this is not a remake,” Bub said. “From the title on down, this is a totally new concept,...

Read more »

Woman Stoned For Not Shopping at Trader Joe’s

Woman Stoned For Not Shopping at Trader Joe’s

“It was the almonds that hurt the most,” said a woman who was the victim of a bizarre stoning that involved a barrage of organic, locally grown peaches, plums, apricots, almonds and, ironically, stone fruits.  “The unripe apricots left some bruises, but an almond in the eye is no joke.  Fucking scratched my cornea.”...

Read more »

Sexting For Seniors: Handy Guide to Making The Most Of Your “Early Bird Special”

Sexting For Seniors: Handy Guide to Making The Most Of Your “Early Bird Special”

Today’s senior citizen has probably read in the news or heard in passing conversation about the damaging and scandalous effects of sexting on today’s youth.  A few may be concerned about the downward turn in society caused by sexting, and others are just plain ashamed that their family has been affected by such technological...

Read more »

Baby Sucker-Punched by Floor, Swears Vengeance

Baby Sucker-Punched by Floor, Swears Vengeance

Chicago, IL – A baby “blindsided” by a hardwood floor in his apartment publicly vowed to avenge the unprovoked act of aggression. “It just came out of nowhere,” the baby, known as Bub, said. “Hit me right in the back of the head like a two by four.” Actually, it was a two by...

Read more »

Steven Segal Claims “I’m Method Acting” for His Latest Role

Steven Segal Claims “I’m Method Acting” for His Latest Role

Steven Seagal, best known for his roles in “Under Siege” and “Above The Law,” claims that, for his newest film “Dead By Morning,” he will take the time to embody his character, before the camera starts to roll. The newest film sees Seagal playing Adam Tidge, an aging martial artist turned detective, who is...

Read more »

World Snackers – Particularly Potheads Mourn Passing of Doritos Founder

World Snackers – Particularly Potheads Mourn Passing of Doritos Founder

The man responsible for introducing Sonic Sour Cream, Mr. Dragon’s Fire Chips, and Tailgater BBQ to the world’s snacking lexicon and single-handedly ensuring job security for cardiologists everywhere has died. Arch West, inventor of Doritos tortilla chips, was 97. The artery-obliterating snack, first released in 1966, generated nearly $5 billion in global sales in...

Read more »

4 Reasons Why Your Single Friends Don’t Give a Sh*t About Your New Baby

4 Reasons Why Your Single Friends Don’t Give a Sh*t About Your New Baby

Congratulations on the new arrival! It’s time to let everyone know the good news. Send out the requisite birth announcements, schedule the christening, and change the Facebook profile picture with each major milestone.  Just be aware that your single friends…really don’t give a shit.

Read more »

Area Man Convinced Backyard Propane Tanks Are Actually Japanese Mini Subs

Area Man Convinced Backyard Propane Tanks Are Actually Japanese Mini Subs

Washington, VA — Area resident, Bob Herman, is convinced that backyard propane tanks are in fact Japanese Mini Subs and warned that a second sneak attack on America is “imminent”. Speaking at Friday’s Board of Supervisors meeting, the 92-year-old veteran pleaded for an immediate investigation into the matter, stating, “Any fool with a lick...

Read more »

Our Funny Cousin

Links of Interest