Celebrity chef and master irritant Gordon Ramsay has done it again. His new Fox show “Your Granny Can’t Cook!” is a hit. In the pilot, Ramsay bursts into the home kitchen of Minnesota Grandmother Jean “Granny” Granderson, and tears the lid off of 60 years of lies and bad cooking. In the opening scene,...
Spotted on page 2 of the UNC-Chapel Hill newspaper, The Daily Tarheel… “Someone publicly urinated at 112 E. Franklin St. between 2:40 a.m. and 3:21 a.m. Sunday, according to Chapel Hill police reports.” Some bladder. — Submitted by Peter A. Coclanis
Chicago, IL – The Chicago renaissance toddler Bub has decided to channel his creative energy into the music forum by “re-imagining” Real Life’s 1983 classic Send Me an Angel. “With all due respect to the original, this is not a remake,” Bub said. “From the title on down, this is a totally new concept,...
“It was the almonds that hurt the most,” said a woman who was the victim of a bizarre stoning that involved a barrage of organic, locally grown peaches, plums, apricots, almonds and, ironically, stone fruits. “The unripe apricots left some bruises, but an almond in the eye is no joke. Fucking scratched my cornea.”...
Today’s senior citizen has probably read in the news or heard in passing conversation about the damaging and scandalous effects of sexting on today’s youth. A few may be concerned about the downward turn in society caused by sexting, and others are just plain ashamed that their family has been affected by such technological...
Chicago, IL – A baby “blindsided” by a hardwood floor in his apartment publicly vowed to avenge the unprovoked act of aggression. “It just came out of nowhere,” the baby, known as Bub, said. “Hit me right in the back of the head like a two by four.” Actually, it was a two by...
Steven Seagal, best known for his roles in “Under Siege” and “Above The Law,” claims that, for his newest film “Dead By Morning,” he will take the time to embody his character, before the camera starts to roll. The newest film sees Seagal playing Adam Tidge, an aging martial artist turned detective, who is...
The man responsible for introducing Sonic Sour Cream, Mr. Dragon’s Fire Chips, and Tailgater BBQ to the world’s snacking lexicon and single-handedly ensuring job security for cardiologists everywhere has died. Arch West, inventor of Doritos tortilla chips, was 97. The artery-obliterating snack, first released in 1966, generated nearly $5 billion in global sales in...
Congratulations on the new arrival! It’s time to let everyone know the good news. Send out the requisite birth announcements, schedule the christening, and change the Facebook profile picture with each major milestone. Just be aware that your single friends…really don’t give a shit.
Washington, VA — Area resident, Bob Herman, is convinced that backyard propane tanks are in fact Japanese Mini Subs and warned that a second sneak attack on America is “imminent”. Speaking at Friday’s Board of Supervisors meeting, the 92-year-old veteran pleaded for an immediate investigation into the matter, stating, “Any fool with a lick...
