Imagine this: You’re at your town’s latest iteration of an “Occupy” protest. You’re challenging the corporate climate’s stronghold on elected representation. The police warn you to move, but you decide to hold your ground and exercise your right to protest. And the next thing you feel is — salsa verde? This might not be...
Congratulations on the new arrival! It’s time to let everyone know the good news. Send out the requisite birth announcements, schedule the christening, and change the Facebook profile picture with each major milestone. Just be aware that your single friends…really don’t give a shit.
Upper Darby, PA–When Maura Leonard invited her girlhood friend Aileen Fleming to her holiday-themed nuptials at the Elk Nut Lodge, she envisioned a tender reunion accompanied by laughter and maybe a few tears. But she had no idea what she was in store for. “Oh, I cried,” Ms. Leonard said bitterly by phone from...
In what’s been long suspected by certain aunts and cousins in the Greggs family, but never confirmed until now, Tricia Greggs, 16 year old daughter of Bill and Linda, had come out of the closet. “We are ecstatic.” said a smiling Mr. Greggs. “I can’t tell you what this means to us. We always...
Angelina Jolie is beautiful and famous and she makes $20 million per movie. She has been on the covers of countless magazine. Angelina goes home to Brad Pitt. Why? People ask themselves every day. Why is Angelina Jolie so famous? Why does she get to travel all over the globe? Why is she constantly...
As many as two-thirds of women are known to fake orgasms, but a surprising new study indicates that as much as 26% of men fake orgasms, as well. The study by the Orgasms for Male Good Commission (O.M.G.) was carried out over the course of three years, and now shows that women aren’t the...
Iona, ID–Negotiations in the lunch trade between Clearview Elementary second graders Timmy Penderson and Bobby Franks have reached an impasse, with neither side showing any sign of weakening. The talks, which have already stretched into an exhausting fifth minute and threatened to divide the students in this small cafeteria/gymanasium, have become increasingly heated as an 11:33...
A new study from the University of Michigan may offer hope to single, straight women who feel like men are childish egomaniacs bent on nothing more than fulfilling their own sexual urges at the expense of anyone with a vagina. The study, funded by the AXE Body & Shower Products Foundation (ABSPF), suggests that...
A new poll released this week by USA Today reveals that people are more likely to trust statements found on a Facebook wall over those made by certified experts. An overwhelming 85% of Americans say that they are “very likely” to believe something if they read it on Facebook. However, only 52% of Americans...
Americans have embraced environmental protection with their characteristic vigor for trends tinged with social responsibility. A recent study conducted by the University of Southeast Florida, however, reveals that interests in activities like reducing of fossil fuel consumption or composting have had a slightly negative effect upon this generation of Americans. Specifically, today’s Americans are...
