Women have been upset with Barbie for decades, saying she doesn’t represent “real women,” with her over-sized breasts and way-too-thin waist. But now another reason for the vitriol has surfaced. Parents around the world are expressing outrage over Mattel’s latest announcement that they’re releasing an anatomically correct Barbie doll in time for the Christmas...
Hagerstown, MD– Rachel Perry is suing former best friend Angela Dice for tagging what she calls “hella ugly” photos of Perry on Dice’s Facebook profile. “She was at the party, shoving that beer bong and all that onion dip in her face,” Dice said. “She knows I roll with cameras like she does, because...
A panel of librarians in Delaware announced last week that the old adage, “Never judge a book by its cover,” may be causing Americans to delve deeper into reading material that is simply not worth their time. “It’s bullshit,” admitted Ricardo Dicker, chief librarian at the Kent Public Library, who headed up the independent...
VH1 sent shockwaves through Hollywood as they announced the upcoming cast for Celebrity Rehab 6. While the usual suspects of B-list stars, washed-up actors, and reality television rejects were expected to make the cut, the most surprising addition to the list was a beloved pitchman who has made himself a household name, 30 seconds...
Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s divorce announcement may have been underwhelming, but details of Brand’s proposed settlement are somewhat more titillating. With no prenuptial agreement and a California 50/50 split, Brand stands to walk away with $22 million. Those closest to the British comedian maintain that what’s most important to Brand right now is...
Anthropologists unearthed new evidence this week that finally sheds light on one of life’s great mysteries: where did the People of Wal-Mart shop before Wal-Mart existed? A recent study by graduate students at the University of Iowa provided some surprising answers. ”As we began our research, we held to three hypotheses,” explained lead graduate...
One moment, he was browsing his Facebook page – shooting the breeze with a pithy update, LOLing at jokes, adding a “Cute baby!” comment to a picture of his sister’s neighbor’s new kid. The next moment, there was a knock at the door and someone Justin Margolis, 35, vaguely recognized from a profile photo...
FRANKLIN MILLS, PENNSYLVANIA — Mall security and local township police were called when reports of former CBS Evening News anchor flipping the bird to a bunch of Korean children while riding atop a fucking Galapagos tortoise appeared on local radio channels Saturday evening.
A few years ago, Cynthia Greenheart took her two children to watch what promised to be a heartwarming tale of a dancing CGI penguin learning to jig like Sammy Davis, Jr. What Greenheart got was a wallet that was about forty dollars lighter, one child who discovered that it takes at least forty five...
Cars lined up last Saturday for the Mount St. Helen’s High School Car Wash, an event to raise money for the jazz band’s upcoming trip to New Orleans, but customers began complaining when it failed to live up to expectations. “First off, there were no cheerleaders. Not a one,” said Gary Buchman, 45, who...
